Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
