So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i dont even know how to be here
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
