i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize