so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
