My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
