i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
