Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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