Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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