Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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