dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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