I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
