No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need water and some morals
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
