So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
