better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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