My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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