My pussy is not your playground.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
