i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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