Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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