She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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