i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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