I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
