he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
