you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
