He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
