How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize