i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
