i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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