Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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