she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
