tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
