READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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