Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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