I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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