im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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