I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How naked do you want me to be?
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