Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize