let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
