I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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