the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Panties = found
Randomize