saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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