Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
