just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
