Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
