I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have post one night stand depression
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