You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize