i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
