I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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