You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
