nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
