I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
