im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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