Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
