I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize