dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
