Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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