I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
