ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
