whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
