hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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