U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude i'm inner monologue high
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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