At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
